zeldathemes
Welcome to my head
I`m Jackie. I'm kinda fucking crazy, I have a mouth like a sailor 97.6% of the time and my brain to mouth filter is almost non-existent. I'm obsessed with a lot of things.

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Literally all you will ever find here is me fangirling and general weirdness. Also, totally not spoiler free. Basically...run.



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claphne:

whenever I’m traveling I always get tripped out at the fact that this is someone’s actual hometown like they know every back road and how to get everywhere and they’ve probably had tons of memories in this city

but I’m just someone passing by

izziesworldofizzie:

stagecoachjessi:

Classic Hollywood Bloopers

And the greatest Hollywood blooper of all time:

dennisillustration:

drunkfeferi:

jaredpadaleckijr:

imgfave:

Posted by philburt

yeah thats cute, but imagine how heartbroken he will be when he finds out it’s not real.




And that is a DAMN good response to the age old issue.

dennisillustration:

drunkfeferi:

jaredpadaleckijr:

imgfave:

Posted by philburt

yeah thats cute, but imagine how heartbroken he will be when he finds out it’s not real.

And that is a DAMN good response to the age old issue.

sushinfood:

collar-fullofchemistry:

justcomingalongfortheride:

takshammy:

zombiegrinder:

Holy shit, this is the greatest

Okay, so, I’m running on the assumption that people are taking this seriously. If not, my bad.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY NOT WHAT HAPPENED
AT ALL

This woman’s name is Amy, and she owns a bakery/restaurant called Amy’s Baking Company. Not only do they serve the customers store-bought food under the pretense of it being gourmet and house-made, but they treat their customers absolutely terribly. This woman once chased two guys out of her restaurant because they had decided to leave after waiting 2 HOURS FOR THEIR FOOD. SHE WAS PISSED BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T PAY FOR IT. IT’S ALSO PROBABLY GOOD TO MENTION THAT SHE DOESN’T LET THE SERVERS HAVE TIPS, WHICH IF YOU’VE NEVER WORKED AT A RESTAURANT, MEANS THAT THEY GET PAYED FAR BELOW MINIMUM WAGE. AT THE TIME OF THE KITCHEN NIGHTMARES EPISODE, SHE AND HER HUSBAND OPENLY CONFESSED TO FIRING OVER A HUNDRED EMPLOYEES IN FIVE MONTHS. GORDON RAMSAY GAVE UP ON HER.
THIS WOMAN IS NOT A FEMINIST HERO
SHE IS A BATSHIT CRAZY FUCKING PSYCHOPATH
IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME, WATCH THE EPISODE ON YOUTUBE.

Ok sorry for commenting but this woman really is crazy. I went there once and she chewed mmy dad out for “being incredibly rude to her and her husband” and things along that linebuT THIS FUCKING WOMAN OK. SHE WAS YELLING AT HER EMPLOYEE TO WORK FASTER AND TO STOP BEING AN IDIOT AND SHE WAS TREATING THEM BADLY SO WHAT SOES MY DAD DO? HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS “STOP BEING A BITCH HE’S WORKING AS HARD AS HE CAN GIVEN THE WORKING CONDITIONS IN SCOTTSDALE OK?” AND SHE WENT OFF ON MY DAD BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HE WAS BEING A DOUCHE AND NO, NO NO NO HELL NO HE WAS NOT. YOU DON’T PUT YOUR EMPLOYEES DOWN IN FRONT OF CUSTOMERS EVEN IF YOU’RE PISSED.

how can people actually believe this holy shit. Go watch the kitchen nightmares episode she is fucking psycho I swear to god.

Watch it here. LEARN HOW INSANE SHE IS. SHE IS HIDEOUS.

Feeling suicidal? Can’t talk on phones?

transbear:

horrorpeach:

crankyskirt:

IMAlive is a live online network that uses instant messaging to respond to people in crisis. People need a safe place to go during moments of crisis and intense emotional pain.

https://www.imalive.org/

Holy shit this is brilliant

AMAZING. BOOST IT.

drake & josh

season 1: drake helps josh w/ a crush
season 4: drake & josh accidentally sell an orangutan to a man who eats orangutans
howaboutdisney:

YOU DESERVE AN AWARD AND DO U SEE KHAN WATCH HER AS SHE TURNS INTO A WARRIOR IM SCREAMING

howaboutdisney:

YOU DESERVE AN AWARD AND DO U SEE KHAN WATCH HER AS SHE TURNS INTO A WARRIOR IM SCREAMING

castiel-knight-of-hell:

casbadass:

Cas finds a camcorder and can’t help but film endless clips of just Dean being Dean. 

Because I like to imagine that Dean and Cas watch Parks and Recreation together.

this is adorable

rightwingtoday:

thegbox:

No, no and no. REBLOG this please, this shouldn’t be allowed and we need to spread the word to everybody about this injustice!
The actual news article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2726219/Yasmin-Thomas-victim-disgusted-walked-free.html

It’s time for all countries to stand up and say no more special treatment based on gender, race or sexual orientation.

rightwingtoday:

thegbox:

No, no and no. REBLOG this please, this shouldn’t be allowed and we need to spread the word to everybody about this injustice!

The actual news article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2726219/Yasmin-Thomas-victim-disgusted-walked-free.html

It’s time for all countries to stand up and say no more special treatment based on gender, race or sexual orientation.

hyourinmaruice:

mylifeaskriz:

ruineshumaines:

Liz Climo on Tumblr.

this really cheered me up

omfg

putasokkainyourmouth:

Hearing your online friend’s voice for the first time.

image

  #dani    #paul    #marie    #veronica    #basically everyone  
queertodaygonetomorrow:

atane:

wristxrocket:

dear-drifter:

lilightfoot:

Remember.

his life was totally in danger.

^^^^

True story; this officer (John Pike) got a settlement of $38,000 because he said he got depressed after pepper spraying these kids. Oh, the depression wasn’t for feeling remorseful for pepper spraying a bunch of college kids peacefully protesting. He got depressed because he said since the media kept playing the video of him pepper spraying peaceful kids without cause, he got threats and didn’t feel safe. He didn’t feel safe. I’m not making that up. This motherfucker collected nearly 40 grand on worker’s comp after assaulting a bunch of college kids.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/23/pepper-spray-cop-settlement_n_4152147.html

queertodaygonetomorrow:

atane:

wristxrocket:

dear-drifter:

lilightfoot:

Remember.

his life was totally in danger.

^^^^

True story; this officer (John Pike) got a settlement of $38,000 because he said he got depressed after pepper spraying these kids. Oh, the depression wasn’t for feeling remorseful for pepper spraying a bunch of college kids peacefully protesting. He got depressed because he said since the media kept playing the video of him pepper spraying peaceful kids without cause, he got threats and didn’t feel safe. He didn’t feel safe. I’m not making that up. This motherfucker collected nearly 40 grand on worker’s comp after assaulting a bunch of college kids.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/23/pepper-spray-cop-settlement_n_4152147.html


Olicity kiss in the new Arrow season 3 teaser [x]

Olicity kiss in the new Arrow season 3 teaser [x]

  #OTP    #IM SCREAMING    #PLEASE DONT LET THIS BE A COVER    #OLIVER IF YOU KISS HER FOR A COVER IMMA SMACK YOU INTO THE NEXT CENTURAY    #but i mean.....it looks like they are in a hospital?????    #BUT HE IS USING BOTH HANDS    #AND SHE IS GRABBING HIS FOREARM    #IM SOBBING    #QUICK SOMEONE KISS ME LIKE THIS    #ITS FOR SCIENCE  

fishingboatproceeds:

ohcurtains:

ofgeography:

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

  • it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

  • you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

  • AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

  • my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
  • my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
  • my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
  • me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

  • WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

"don’t expose my kid to that crap."

  • DON’T
  • EXPOSE
  • MY KID
  • TO THAT CRAP

"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."

  • I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
  • IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

  • my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
  • my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
  • my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • this is the best thing i’ve ever done

what an amazing story

Wow.